I cant believe it's 12 years already! Ugh.
I can, actually. It was just being dramatic. 

Well. 12 years *sigh*
I'm surprised I can survive this long. Haha.

I can remember every hours that happened in 25 April 2000.
The worst day EVER in my life.

That one day was enough to make me paranoid of losing EVERYTHING in my life since.
That one day was enough to make me a stronger girl than any I could imagine before.

I am glad I never gave up. Because I'm survive this far.

I still wish I could have a time turner.
Even I couldnt stop death to take my Dad.
I would like to use it to keep my little self company.

To tell her that things WOULD REALLY GO ALRIGHT.
To courage her to be stronger because there is really a HAPPINESS after a pain.
To cheer her to work hard because NOT A SINGLE FIGHT WOULD BE WORTHLESS.
To remind her to keep going when she thought she had enough she should have given up.
To hug her when she cried because she thought she was a useless space and didnt know what she should did.
And, to show her that I would always be there for her. Your first and truly bestfriend is yourself. If only you could believe that :)

I really have no idea if my dad is proud of me or not right now.
I didnt do anything for a bad purpose.
So I assume he feels good for that xD

I love you, Dad.
20 years ago, 12 years ago, and today.
I promise I will always love you with all of my heart until like, forever. If forever does really exist.
I'll show you every second you spent for me was really worth it.


Love,

Me

These three weeks probably the hardest week since 2012.
My most beloved GQT had problem and that wasnt good. At all.
I -kind of- started it, even no one admitted that.
And I feel really guilty about it.
This is my family. My virtual family. I spent my time there as much as I spent my time in real life.
I love GQT. I really really do.
It is silly, because I never met them nor know them in real life.
But like Julie said,

“Even though this entire community is based on fantasy, the people are real and the emotions are real. My love for all of you is very real."

She is so true.
I love Missa, Ashley, Julie, Kaylyn, Lily, Eno, Laurie, Jenny, and all the rest.
It wasnt a lie when I told them I cried.
I cried. And the tears are real.
My feeling hurt and that was real.
When I begged Laurie and everyone to not go, it was real. I really want them to stay.

Julie takes a break. For a long while.
Laurie squibs.
The others wander and keep their eyes to those who stay.
I really dont know what I should do.
What I need to do to make the GQT came back.
I miss them. I miss GQT.
GQT is my team. I want to play with them.
Win or lose. It doesnt even matter.
I love them. I want to be with them.

I just hope people wont leave Gryffindor and GQT will be back like the old times.
I know I'm taking a break for now.
But I promise I will be back.
I work hard to be a good player and when I come back, I will be good enough to be played in most of games.
GQT will be in its glory.
I'm sure of it :)

So, it's been 7 months I'm known as Kaiwa Alexandra.
I feel like this girl brings a change in me. A good change.
HOL itself actually give me things I rarely got before: Family, cares, bestfriends, partner, love, and competitions.
Kaiwa feels really welcomed in HOL, it's her home, her family.
And so I feel welcome too :]

I start to care more to people and notice little things.
I also able to cry because I feel sad, not just because I feel mad.
I try to not judge people. And to be kind to them, even I barely know them.

7 months, lots of thing happened.
Some dramas that make me stronger and stronger.
And they even make me better and having moooore friends in a good way.
I should thank those people >_>

I make friends with people from all houses.
I always think houses is just houses.
It's not a border to separate people but it's connecting us ^^
It is either silly or stupid if you think other houses than yours are underrated >_>

I've been botting and practicing with Slytherin Quidditch Team, had 2 Pick Up games, being good friends with Huffies and Ravs, told to go to mental hospital by a troll xD , being a Junior Prefect, having aop in Gryffindor and HOL chatrooms.
See, how far you can go if you take hates positively? :D

But I really thanked Missa, Amy, and Alaia for the supports.
And also Kay, all my GQTers and others people who are with me.
I feel really happy to be in here :)

Even I'm friends with other houses, I promise I wont leave my Gryffindor. Except if Missa step down and some people leave. Which Ash said, that wont be happened lol.
Also, even I'm in GQT and all other houses' Quidditch Teams are my rivals, I keep my friendship good with them.
I am here not to hate or to be hated. I'm here to make friends and having fun ^^

I was always being that one who love the rules and I still am >_>
Chad said I'm strict and I think I am lol.
I always think people should obey the rules and not just break it lol.
And Sam said maybe I will fit better in Ravenclaw xD

This month, I joined PPC.
GQT has its bad times now.
And we're trying to work things out.
It is really sad to see things fall apart and I hope it will be over soon!

That is for now.
I will try to blog more in the future and stop waste too much times doing silly things xD

Bai!

Saya mau jadi ibu, yang baik, yang disayang, yang sayang sama anak-anak saya.
Saya mau mendidik anak saya dengan benar, dengan ikhlas, supaya dia tau siapa Tuhannya, jalan mana yang diridhoi Tuhannya, dan bagaimana Tuhannya mengharapkan dia berbakti.
Saya mau mengajarkan dia tentang baik dan buruk, lalu tentang baik dan benar.
Saya mau mengajarkan dia berpikir dengan logika dan merasakan dengan hati.
Saya mau mengajarkan dia, bahwa it's okay to be different with people, dan bahwa dia ga perlu jadi yang terhebat untuk jadi yang terbaik. Jika dia bertanya alasannya mengapa, itu saatnya saya mengajarkan dia membedakan hal yang baik dan yang benar.
Saya mau dia jadi anak yang mandiri, yang ga terlalu bergantung sama orang lain, tapi sadar, bahwa dia akan selalu membutuhkan orang lain.
Saya mau mendidik dia supaya ikhlas, rendah hati, dan berhati besar. Untuk selalu baik ke orang lain, tidak peduli siapapun.
Saya mau jadi ibu yang dia percaya, yang dia yakini bahwa saya nggak akan mengkhianati dia dengan bercerita aibnya ke orang lain, dengan membandingkan dirinya dengan orang lain.
Saya mau jadi ibu yang dia cari sewaktu sedih untuk membesarkan hatinya, dan dicari sewaktu senang untuk dibagi kebahagiannya.
Saya mau jadi ibu yang bisa dia banggakan seperti saya, pasti, akan membanggakan dia.

Saya tau ini muluk sekali.
Ini nggak mudah untuk dicapai.
Tapi saya sudah punya keinginan, dan akan saya rencanakan.
Setelah itu, saya akan laksanakan :)

It's been almost a year since I ride Akai and having fun together (oh yeah we are!) on the road.
But today, I think I need to fulfill my satisfaction and write down those annoying things here.
It's a burn book. For the Hard Road. Whatever. Ignore this line.

1. Angkot.
Oh well, is there anyone out here who dont hate, or at least, dislike those angkot? >_>

2. Bus & TransPakuan yang berhenti bukan di haltenya

3. Motor dengan knalpot yang nyemprot muka
Seriously guys, if you hate me and my motorbike, better say it to my face directly, not by your knalpot >_>

4. Orang yg ngasih sign ke kanan tapi belok ke kiri.
Better you put some stickers about which one left and right in your bike. Like, seriously *nods*.

5. Motor yg ngebut dengan suara cempreng.
Dude, you are NOT cool. At all. Please get a life. Thanks.

6. Motor yang ngebut.
Gue ga peduli motor lo bagus apa ga, tapi tolong sewa jalan sendiri kalo mau ngebut. Bukan di jalan umum. Think wise. Act wiser.

7. Motor yang ga bisa nyalip di jalan macet.
*facepalm*

8. Orang yang masih punya space 23616478219 meter buat nyalip tapi nge-klaksonin kayak orang gila.

9. Orang yang sibuk ngeklaksonin di saat lampu merah.
HEH. GUE GA PEDULI MAU JALANAN SEPI APA GA. ITU LAMPU MERAH DAN GA BOLEH LEWAT.

Dan beberapa lainnya.
Tolonglah, bersikap wajar-wajar aja di jalan.
Saling menghormati satu sama lain.
Kalo ga peduli sama hidup/nyawa sendiri dan milih buat jadi pengendara yang reckless, tolong pikirin kalo ada orang lain yang hati-hati berkendara dan masih berharap bisa beraktifitas normal besok pagi.
Ya intinya, pikirin orang lain lah.