My mother is special.
She is silly.
She has younger soul than me.
She has a bigger heart than me.
She has warmer arms than me.
She has brightest smile than me.
She is stronger than me.
She loves me, when I ignored her.
She gave me space.
She never questioned me and all my weird decisions. .
She doesn't understand me, and she never tried to.
And it's okay. Because she doesn't need to.
She just understands, that she only needs to be there for me.
To be happy and healthy.
And just to be there.
Because she's my home.
She is my life.
She is my light.
She is the best part of me.
She is my angel.
She is my mother.

I love you, mother.
I love you.

Forever isn't for everyone. Is forever for you?
- Snap Out of It - Arctic Monkeys (AM, 2013.

When I was younger, I pretty much didn't have many things that I wanted.
I was a realist, still a realist.
But now I believe about things, dreams, wishes, desires, and if I really work on them, they could really come true. Which I didn't, back when I was a teenager.
Silly, I know.

I have a great and truly inspiring coworker.
She's much older and I love learning everything from her.
And one about the wishing bit she told her was that everything we wished, hoped, wanted, even though we didn't really work on it, could come true.
Even it's in weeks, months, years, but it will eventually come true.
And that changed my point of view in big ways.

In my previous post I told about how my previous dreams all came true.
And now I basically left with no dreams lol.
Well, I still want to continue my education.
But this silly me still doesn't know what I want to be.
I would love to have a bakery or nice bookshop someday.
So I would probably need to take a baking course.

Other than that, I, sure, know I want to live abroad someday.
England, precisely. But anywhere English country, really.
But that's most unlikely to happen in any close time.
Unless, of course, if God said so.

And the other day, I had this light chat with my friend, Sam.
She lives in US and had lived in London, as well France.
I told her I would love to visit London someday, and she said she wouldn't let me visit London without her.
Then I think that it could really happen.
I mean, in my young age. Not in 10 years later or so.
I could really start saving my money and see if God gives me a way.

So other than taking baking course, live abroad, and visit London, I have one other big dreams: buying a nice house.
I'm not an out person. I spend most of my free times at home. Sitting in front of my laptop, watching movies, reading books, listening to music, watching concert videos, or writing a blog post, sometimes.
I go out only when I need to, like seeing friends, buying stuffs, eating, or seeing movies.
So I really want to have a nice house.
Not a big one, no, I don't quite a fan of big house. They kinda scare me lol.
Just a nice one. Comfy one.

And those are my new dreams.
Are you supposed to have big dreams when you're 22?
I think so.
When you have your own income, you've seen, heard, experienced more things than when you were a teenager, I think you're supposed to have bigger dreams.
But big things come with big responsibilities.
You know what?
I'm ready for them.

Do you remember what you wished when you were 5? Or 10? Or 15?
Nope? Me neither.
I grew wishing my Dad comes back alive after I was 8. And I didn't remember what I wished other than that.
But after I worked and could buy things I wanted, I started make wishing list - or things to buy.
And the first I made it was middle of 2012.
I wrote it in the google document. But I never checked it again after then.
I wrote it only as a declaration for my self, that those are things I want to buy, but not necessarily I must buy in very soon-ish.
I never remembered that particular list until recently, few days or so.
After I finally found English version of Harry Potter books I wanted so much, and finally, bought it!
Then I told my friend, "You know, this is what I've been wanted since God knows when."
And she told me, "God is kind, right? You may not remember when you wish it, but He still gives you."
Then I remembered, I had this one little list of things I wanted to buy. I found and read it.
And guess what, ALL of my wishing list have been come true!
I've bought all of things I wanted back in 2012. And I didn't even plan it!
Even more, the things I wanted that was not in the list!

The things I put on the list were basically things I always wanted for a long time.
Or things I really really really want.
One of them was Harry Potter books English version, which I've always wanted since what, I'm 15?
And I put them there because I'm not sure I could afford to buy them all, or at least in one year time.
But God made it comes true.
Not only He granted it in only 1,5 year time, He also lets me to buy them all by my own money!

Then I realized, that God really listens to every single wish, every single pray, that you may not say it, but your heart did.
We usually just complain on how He never listens to our prayings, and the things we think we need right now are the ones we don't have.
But we're wrong.
God knows the best time to make your wishes come true.
God knows the best way to make your wishes come true.
And God will make your wishes come true, when you're least expecting it.