Another year has gone by.
When I was 19, I wished I could stop growing old and be 19 forever instead.
Obviously, that one wish didn't come true.

Twenty five.

Being a pessimist person I was (and still am), I never thought I could reach 25.
But here I am.

Twenty five.

Live in a strange city quite far from home.
Get a never-boring job.
With those lovely workaholic colleagues.
And have a very nice life over all.

What I have today is more that I could ever ask.
Even though I never planned this.

God,
Thank you.

Hello Papa, it's been sixteen years since I saw you last.
Usually there are tears but today, they weren't here.
Well I did a little cry yesterday when I listen to songs that remind me of you (there's a lot, okay!) but then I realized how happy I feel this year.

Yes, Papa. I am happy.
I feel happy, blessed, and very grateful.
My life has been great.
It's always been, but I can see it clearly today.

I have a good job that I like a lot!
My colleagues are really nice and funny and kind.
I live alone in the city we used to live in.
But I always have a place to come home in Bogor.
The relationship with the family is great too.
Aji is studying hard.
Please keep your eyes on him, k?
And I'm surrounded with the best kind of friends!
There are some I don't like, then I'm not keeping them.
Because I believe the God will replace the bad ones with the good ones, only if we have guts to throw the bad ones.
I also have online friends that are so nice and kind like we're friends in real life.
I really hope we can meet one day!

That's from me, Papa.

And you.
How are you?
Are you okay?
Are you happy?
Are you sad?
I miss you, always.
I really hope you can come see me in my dreams.
We can have a talk. Or laugh.
Or neither. Just sitting.
Or hugging.
I promise I won't cry like the last time we met.

Anyway, I want to thank you.
To teach my to read and love English.
To be my father.
I'm blessed.
I don't want to trade father, even though the other father lives a lot longer than you :P

Okay so,
Happy deathday, Papa!
I miss you <3


Your daughter,
Chita

Everyday, I specifically ask God to make me a better person.
And I think, being a better person is not about the result, but rather about the journey.
God doesn't make me wiser or smarter overnight, but He'll put me in a situation that can make me wiser and smarter. Which if I could pass it, I will be exactly as what I prayed.

And I'm in a journey to be a better person everyday.
So I tried to be more heedful.
As I grow older, I meet more people from many backgrounds and with many personalities.
The ones that I didn't think I could meet but then I do.
Especially since I join a new company.
Before I thought expatriate in my country only sit in highest positions but now here, they're sitting in the same cubicles as locals.
Before I thought my previous boss was humble and kind enough, but my recent boss is even MORE humble and kinder and funnier in many ways and it makes me love him so much!
Before I thought I couldn't find co-workers like my previous ones, but my recent co-workers are as lovely as them (even though I still miss my old co-workers a lot too!)
Before I thought there's no stronger bound like my previous company, but my recent company's employees have even STRONGER bound!

God always replaces things with better things, every time.
I never doubt that.
Yet He still proves that it's true and make my faith even bigger.

I used to moan and complain about Monday but for the last few weeks, I didn't.
I enjoy and is excited of Monday because there's a weekly meeting which is fun because it's so casual and not boring, it's also very much shorter than we did in my previous company.

I also have my good friend as my roommate.
My relationship with my family is stronger than ever.

Dear God,
I would never be able to thank You enough for all these blessings.
I can't even count it.
Thank you so much for the best part of  my life... yet!
I believe you still have a lot to surprise me later :)