My 15th remembrance of 25th April.
God.
It's been so damn long, hasn't it?!
And for the first time ever I can't go visit him or even send him some prayers because of the monsteration.
Later I'll shower you with many prayers though, Papa. No worries!

If there's time when I need to discuss with Papa the most, probably is today. Or lately, at least.
My youngest brother is going to college soon. And I feel like Papa would give his best thought about it.
And there are many thoughts that I can't share with anyone. But I know with Papa I would be able to put them into words.

Aaaaaah shit.
I just got all tearing up again.
I promised that I would take it easy this year.
It's been 15 years and it's about time to make peace with Papa's death.
But it's not easy, isn't it?

Well, okay.
So.
Happy 15th D-day to my superhero, superman, teacher, personal guardian angel, leader, soldier, lover, my very own Daddy.
I love you forever and ever and after.

Until I see you again, Papa :)

seperti gravitasi,dia bikin aku turun...
sial! dia seperti permen karet di sepatu,sulit hilang tanpa ada usaha
dia bilang dia ga akan bohong (lagi)
tapi akan selalu (lagi-lagi)

lupa kombinasi lemari besi
biar lupa terus jadi ga bisa di buka
jika di buka bisa bahaya
bisa ada luka lagi

mengobati luka
ah...pergi ke Bar Lazy Daze
pesan dinosaurus burger
makan yang banyak,meludah sedikit
kepada mereka yang suka bohong

"Pesan capucino hangat,satu..."
duduk,menunggu hujan yang makin lebat saja
hujan es,bikin dingin semua
ada setan naik taxi,dia juga pembohong

Luka senang datang
lalu pergi lagi
seperti bohong yang selalu berotasi
berputar-putar di kebohongan yang sama

dia,aku harap mau pergi
"Pintu keluar sebelah sana..."

keluar,dan jangan balik lagi
cuma bikin repot

satu datang,semua datang
satu pergi,semua pergi
sial!

ada semut bawa apel
itu pasti bohong
semut kan suka gula...

lagi-lagi harus obati luka,
biarin aja dia pergi,nanti juga datang lagi
tapi,jangan harap bisa masuk
pintu sudah ku kunci
kecuali dia sudah bukan si pembawa luka

berani masuk,berarti mati
lebih baik jangan masuk,
kecuali dia sudah bukan si pembawa luka

obat dan racun memang berbeda,
obat baik,
racun buruk,
tapi...
terlalu banyak obat juga bisa jadi racun yang baik.

ah...masa lalu basi,selalu hinggap kapan dia mau
sial!

-

Ini salah satu tulisan Dio terfavorit saya sepanjang masa.
Lagi di kantor. Di luar hujan. Lagi ga temenan sama jas hujan.
Dari minggu lalu kepikiran mulai nulis yang bener lagi.
Trus buka-buka arsip di otak dan kepikiran era ini.
Waktu Dio masih sering nodong buat bacain tulisan dia.
Waktu itu saya penulis yang sedikit lebih tidak amatir dibanding hari ini.
Aaaaaaaaaa, Chita 2010. Kamu ke mana?
Pengen bisa nulis lagi :(

You talk nicely.
You dress casually.
You wear my favourite kind of shoes.
And you eat a lot. Even you refused to admit it so.

You complain about your weight.
I tell you that you look fine.
Then we talk a bit.
But you're always distracted by something else.

You drop me home.
And I wave you a goodbye.
You tell me that we shall meet again.
And we exchange a smile.

Sometimes you remember little things I say.
Of course I remember little things you say.
It's so nice having you in life.
It's always been.