Everybody has a personality.
Some of them are blessed with two.
I'm a young woman; I'm secretive, moody, over expecting, underestimate, overestimate, impatient, talk a lot, sensitive, and naive.
But I grow the other part of me, the manly-er side of me.
It makes me logical, cold, solitaire, playful, ignorant, silly, trustful, and open-minded.
In one side, I love black and white.
I think there's only two things in this world, it's either black or white.
Grey is nonsense. Grey is fake. Grey is confusing. Grey can't be trusted. Grey is unreliable.
But the other side of me says that everything in this world is grey.
There's no good and bad. There's no you and me. There's no love and hate. There's no yes or no.
Everything is inbetween. Everything is uncertainty. Everything is relative.
I love good result. Who doesn't?
And my ego doesn't care about the process as long as it has good result.
But my other side says process is more important than the result.
No matter how good the result is, if you don't earn it right, you don't have it.
In one side, I'm a person who has big ego, who can't live without privacy, who enjoy travels alone, who doesn't give a damn about what other people think, who never trust anyone, who builds tall blue wall around me and let no one come in.
But in the fact is I'm a fragile, broken, care, sensitive, lonely person who trust people from the very first second we meet, until they screw up, someday later, and I would be down in a cold Arctic hole.
There are always, always two sides of me.
I don't know if later I would just have one.
If one day I could pick the best one and be the best of me. Well I hope I could.
Some people probably think I have extreme mood swing.
I beg to differ.
I call this a disorder personality.
Your attitude reflects how I act towards you.

My mum is a person with AB blood type.
(If you don't know anything about blood type personality, I suggest you google it. It's fun!)
And for those who have read about blood type personality, you know what AB people are like.
They're easy-going, free-minded, quirky, and fun.
My mum is only 20 years older than me.
So having a woman who is 20 years older and with AB blood type as a mother, is unlike the other lol.
It's not a bad thing. It's a FUN thing, really.
I'm happy and grateful having her.
It's just, my blood type is A and I'm a Virgo. Double dead-serious.
So mostly I'm taking over being the most mature, logical, and annoying over-protective person in family.
I remember when I was a kid, probably (almost) nine.
I went to a shop with my little sister and a kid rudely called us "Orphans" because I just lost a father.
My sister cried, I think. And I told my mum when I was home.
She told me that I should stand up for ourselves and told that rude kid to piss off.
She said that I'm the eldest and I should be the protector of the family even though I'm a girl.
My father always taught me to be a strong, independent, and forbade me to cry when I was little, so being that "protector of the family" is not a big deal.
It's just, I didn't realize it before. No 9 years old realized that, I think.
And until now, my mum always asks me if she wants to ask my siblings something.
Like, can you tell Rinda or Aji to be like this or that, could they do this or that. And stuffs like that.
And most of the time they don't know that it was our mum who asked me to tell them that.
They only know that I asked them to do that.
Besides, my mum told them to obey me, because if she wasn't there, I was in charge as her substitute.
Not all of what I was asking was a pleasant thing to do.
I'm pretty sure they dislike me at some point.
So I become the bad one, sometimes. Or most of times.
Because I like to order them to do things. Whilst our mum does not.
I don't mind. I don't mind being the bad one, because in fact, I'm not.
I think I just inherit my dad's thing to be feared even when we do nothing.
I don't mind.
Someday they'll know.
Or even they won't, it doesn't matter.
As long as they live to the fullest, blessed, and of course, happily.