I started reading a lot again.
Thanks to Ashley, who is suddenly encouraging me to do more reading.
And more watching.
And basically turning me into an absolute, full-time fangirl.
I'm not complaining, just saying.

Reading is a fun activity, you know.
You can be anyone else.
You can know what others think.
You can know how people deal with many things.
You can go to adventure.
You can visit places.
You can feel many emotions.
Without leaving your place, wherever you are.

I started reading very early.
My dad was a big reader himself.
I used to hear stories how he sneaked comics to his room when he's supposed to study.
I guess he didn't want me to feel the same, so he let me read whenever I want.
He taught me to read.
I remember very clearly how I sat on his lap as he taught me to read subtitles on tv that night.
I know, what a beautiful moment to remember.
I also remember that he used to take me buying books, comics, magazines.
And how I spent some of my weekends reading books on my beach chair... not in a beach.
My parents also gave me money to rent books.
They were okay with it.
I was the happiest kid.

Then I moved to Bogor, where, my aunt and uncles, even though they're very good parents, they didn't see reading the same way as my dad did.
I couldn't read as much as I didn't.
I couldn't use my money to rent nor buy books.
But I kept reading anyway.
They subscribe to Bobo magazine, so I still got that.
And I bought second hand books and comics, but I couldn't get to keep them.
Because they'll be upset.
So I threw them away after I read them.
I remember how sad it was.

So after I got a job and my own money, I never stop buying books.
I bought every books that I wanted to buy.
Even though it's not cheap, or I need to wait a month because they're shipped from overseas.
It's worth it.

Reading is not only a hobby.
It's my dad's legacy.
I don't know nor understand how hard is it to make your kid loves reading.
But he did.
He made me love reading.
16 years after he's gone, I'm still reading.
And when I'm reading, I feel like back to one of those nights.
When I was on his lap, listening to him reading.
Or when I was on my beach chair.

When I'm reading, I feel him around.
Reading with me.

Hello Papa, it's been sixteen years since I saw you last.
Usually there are tears but today, they weren't here.
Well I did a little cry yesterday when I listen to songs that remind me of you (there's a lot, okay!) but then I realized how happy I feel this year.

Yes, Papa. I am happy.
I feel happy, blessed, and very grateful.
My life has been great.
It's always been, but I can see it clearly today.

I have a good job that I like a lot!
My colleagues are really nice and funny and kind.
I live alone in the city we used to live in.
But I always have a place to come home in Bogor.
The relationship with the family is great too.
Aji is studying hard.
Please keep your eyes on him, k?
And I'm surrounded with the best kind of friends!
There are some I don't like, then I'm not keeping them.
Because I believe the God will replace the bad ones with the good ones, only if we have guts to throw the bad ones.
I also have online friends that are so nice and kind like we're friends in real life.
I really hope we can meet one day!

That's from me, Papa.

And you.
How are you?
Are you okay?
Are you happy?
Are you sad?
I miss you, always.
I really hope you can come see me in my dreams.
We can have a talk. Or laugh.
Or neither. Just sitting.
Or hugging.
I promise I won't cry like the last time we met.

Anyway, I want to thank you.
To teach my to read and love English.
To be my father.
I'm blessed.
I don't want to trade father, even though the other father lives a lot longer than you :P

Okay so,
Happy deathday, Papa!
I miss you <3


Your daughter,
Chita