SUNSHINE/RAINBOWS/BUTTERFLIES

Many times I "removed" people from my life. People who I used to call friends or even best friends, for years.
Sometimes it's for reasons that people think is silly. Or that I'm so arrogant. Or I'm childish. Or intolerant. Or not a good person.

Like I would care.

When I'm friends with someone, don't doubt my loyalty. I will do anything for them. REALLY care with them and always be there for them.
When I'm friends with someone, I'll love them with the whole of my heart.

Then something wrong happens.
I cannot tolerate lies.
In any form.
For any reason.
I appreciate truth even it will kill me. I really do.
But don't you lie to me.
Don't ever pull an April fool joke at me. Or that was the last day I'd ever trust you again.

There's a friend that has been friends with me for years now, but I keep thinking that s/he tells lies once in a while. I keep being friends with them and never pointed it out, but I don't love them with the whole of my heart even sometimes I enjoy themselves as a company.
You know, you get a feeling when someone is lying to you.

My friends are the ones I trust to know my personality, to know my life, to know what I like and dislike. I always have tall thick walls around me and with friends, I am willing to lower or make it thinner.
I also want to surround my self with people that can make me better, or want to be better.
I'm past the ages when I want to gossip about friends (that I don't even see anymore). Nor want to discuss about who is thinner or whose hair is shinier.
I'm not saying people are dumb or dumber than me. No. People are smart.
Many people I know went to college in various studies, means they are MUCH smarter than me in their way.
I just want them to TALK and DISCUSS about that. Instead of about weight, hair, shoes, clothes, or boys.

So I started being even pickier than ever now. I have friends who make me comfortable to be around with and also make me better at the same time. And those kinds are the ones I want to see for the rest of my life (and I hope the feeling is mutual).

Surrounded with the kind of people that I don't like makes me worse and I don't want to be it.
And surrounded with the kind of people that I like makes me happy and a better person and more positive. Makes me the person I want to be it.

I know and realize that I can't always find the people I like. And that I need to learn to be friends with those people are not perfect in my eyes.
I certainly will.

But not now.
Now I need to be better. I need to be happy.
If you don't know, I'm not living in the happiest family. So my sunshine/rainbows/butterflies personality has been used up to handle the drama from there lol.
I apologise for not being nice/friendly/socialized like a normal person should be.