HIM, EVERYWHERE

Since my Dad passed away, what I felt that I not only lost a father.
But also my mom because in the next year I had to leave the house to live with my relatives.
The new family is awesome, the best you could ask for. I can't imagine my life without them.
But it wasn't easy for a 9 year old girl who just lost her father to adapt in a totally new environment.

Before the doomsday (aka when my father passed away), I always got everything from him.
When I want a new book, new clothes, shoes, or when I want to visit some places.
Isn't that what fathers are for? A wish-granting machine? :P
But after he's gone, I lost that machine.
I also thought that God was very cruel because He took my father away, so I had to get compesation from Him.
I started to talk in my room to Him, about what I feel, what I want, and basically everything.
Since then, it becomes a habit.
Whenever I feel happy, sad, or in need of anything, I simply would say what
I feel and I trust that He hears it.

Even though it looks like a one-way conversation, I know that He listens.
And He responds too. Even though it's simply as the calming sensation that suddenly felt in my heart.
Sometimes, it takes awhile for me getting what I want, but eventually, I get them.

This has been my routine for the last 16 years.
To always tell Him what I feel.
To make a list of things that I want.
To ask Him to always make me a better person.
Because nothing that I want more in this world than become a better person.

I don't believe people who say God only gives you what you need and never gives you what you want.
He's capable of many thing.
And He loves you, more than you love Him.
He would give you what you want.
If you would just ask.

Maybe you have different religion views than me.
Or maybe you don't believe in God.
But I believe that He is there. Everywhere.
And He always does something for you everytime.
If you need it or not.