I'm a robot. I don't have a heart.
I'm a robot. You can manipulate my mind.
I'm a robot. I'll do what you command.
I'm a robot. You can hurt me anytime I won't feel the pain.
I'm a robot. My tomorrow is based on what you decide today.
I'm a robot. If you break me, you can always fix me.

I'm a robot, for you, Mom.

                                   

People said, our life is like a book.
We are the authors.
It consists of chapters.
If we fail in one chapter, all we need to do just make another chapter and make it wonderful.
Just dont choose to end the book before you finished tell the story.

Just like the real writers, sometimes we meet the empty spaces and we don't know what to write in our books.
They usually take a break and do something in order to get new inspirations.
And I think, what I have recently, is that empty space.

I don't know what I'm doing.
I just do my daily activities.
Wake up, go to work, botting, quidditch practice, and sleep.
It's not that they're not fun.
I'm having fun. I laugh a lot.
I just feel empty.
I feel like a robot.
And those freak me out.

I've been sick, having headache for a week now.
Most of times it doesnt really bother me.
I lost interest of foods. Eating. Ew.
And I lost 2 kilos in 2 weeks.
If my weight's dropped to less than 40kg, I know I would be very sick.
But uh well. I just lost interest of anything in general.

I've been botting a lot. But I cant feel any improvement.
I sometimes want to cry because I dont know what I need to do to be good.

And even I know I need to do something to make me feel better, I dont know what *that* is.
I ate ice cream, lots of foods, watched my favorite movies and animes, and try to talk to people.
None of them could make me feel better.

But weeeell,
Life must go on and I cant just moan with doing nothing.
I need to figure out how to treat this shit.
If it's really just another empty space, then it means I will be able to get my inspiration back to continue my book :)
*cross fingers*

It's just me lost in my random thought. Hahaha.

Actually I just read a quote from Taylor Momsen in tumblr.
She said, "Chocolate is happiness."
I reblogged and added in my reply, "Chocolate - Ice cream - Sleeping is happiness."

Then I laugh and realises, that there are so many simple things can make us happy.
Even for a bit.
Even for a while.

When your friends turn you down, you can go to your family and having fun with them.
I know lots of people are lucky enough to have a family that always be able to rely on in their hard times.

When your family makes you feel like hell, go to your friends.
Laugh with them (our friends never failed to make us laugh with no trying), talk about life (how far time has passed and how much you missed the old times), or just teasing around.

Or else, you can just being a good friend with yourself.
Healing yourself, because no one could heal yourself better than you do.
Eat ice cream, chocolate, or your other favorite foods.
Do anything you want to do, as long as you dont hurt yourself and others xD
Visit wonderful places (put your problems behind for a while and just be grateful of what you have. Dont be saddened about what you dont have).

When we're sad, feeling down, or depressed, we dont know what we need to do to make our feelings get better.
Just simplify yourmind.
Think positive. Think bright. Think clearly.
Because happiness, actually, can be found everywhere.
If only you could see your life from the right place :)