You might not know this that that song always reminds me of you.
Those two words remind me of you.
Because I believe, we will be forever and always.
Even we're together or not.
Because you're so important to me.
Even I never told you.
But you know.
You most likely know.
We are not simple.
Our lives are not simple.
The thing we have is never simple.
I slap myself everytime I ask for someone's opinion about how I should do with you.
Because if I don't know the answer, that means they won't either.
And it hurts me so much. And it makes me cry.
Literally cry.
Our choices aren't as simple as:
Stay or leave.
Yes or no.
Love or like.
Talk or shut up.
Lover or else.
We are both.
Do you hear that? We are both.
I have many things to tell you.
I have many things to do with you.
Leaving you, is one of them.
But would I? Could I?
A favourite movie of mine said this but I'm going to change it slightly a bit for you.
If someday I leave you, it's not because I don't love you.
It's because I do.
And it's not because I miss you.
Because I miss you already.
Maybe our story are going to end soon.
Our time is running out.
We are not as young as we were five years ago.
We don't have another five years to waste.
I want to move on with my life. And you should too.
Maybe in several years we'll see each other again in different place.
Maybe we won't be able to talk for hours until late like we did last time.
Maybe we'll be busy with our own lives.
Or maybe,
Maybe we won't meet again.
Just keep my words:
You are amazing. You are important. You are kind and wonderful.
I want you to have the best possible life because you deserve it.
I enjoyed every single hour I spent with you.
And I enjoyed the sweet torture you gave me.
You made me feel lots of things.
Complicated things that I've never felt about before.
No one could give me the feeling before. Because you are special.
And you will always be.
I didn't lie when I told you that you're my favourite.
You are.
Forever and always.

I can't promise you that I'll still love you when I wake up in 7 days.
I can't even promise you that I'll be here tomorrow morning.
I have no power on tomorrow and I won't give you any bull shit by lying about the future.
But if you don't know it yet, or just simply blinded with whatever thing in your eyes, I still love you as much as the first time I told you, 5 years ago. Or even more than I did.
And if it's not enough for you, I don't know what is.

I'm not perfect, so you don't have to be perfect.
I don't want you to be perfect.
We don't have to be perfect.
Even don't need to be perfect for each other.
Our life doesn't have to be perfect.
Our choices can't be perfect.
What we have won't be perfect.
We can't be perfect.

Perfection means nothing's left to be fixed.
Perfection means nothing's left to learn.
I want the flaws. I need the mistakes.
I want to learn. I need to grow.
We can caught in fight. Then we can forgive.
We can be sad and cry. Then we can be full of laughter.

Who said you need to perfect?
I don't need you perfect.

There was someone like you a long time ago.
He was the kindest, the sweetest, talked like none other boys, he was as faithful as you, I assume.
But he was the first of all, who broke the heart in the end.
Leave the book unfinished, for newest shiny thing.
He made me think that nearly every boy is like that.
That they would treat me like he did.
I used to think that you were different.
But you know it better than I do about what you did about 2 months ago.
And you expect me to forget those things?
Like, past is in the past?
Sure it does, but doesn't we learn best from bad experience we had?

Please think about how much damage you've done before you spit out and walk away from someone's life after make her thinking you were the (different) one.
So much disappointments.

I just thought of it and I found it interesting.
Well it's not a complicated thing about science of social activity. My mind is pretty simple so we think simple things only. Leave the complications for the rest of body.
There are many habits of mine in texting.
Like, I have friends whom I 80% text them in English. Not sure since when but we are doing it.
I enjoy texting in English, but the thing is if you aren't used to do it to someone, you couldn't get the point of comfort.
Like, if someone asked me, "Could we start texting in English since today? I want to improve my English."
I probably can't. I probably can but it doesn't have a comfort point.
And probably, probably, for some people my habit of writing, posting everything in English bother them.
Like I said before, it's the matter of comfort.
I'm used to post Twitter or Path status in English so it's natural.
I do write in Indonesian too, I'm born and raised with that language, but sometimes there are things better explained in English.
I just try to not mix English and Indonesian in one sentence. Still do it. But believe me, I strongly dislike myself when I do that.
With my closest friends, I'm used to talk in capitals.
It is hilarious and fun and I love it.
But of course I can't do it with other people without them looking at me weird.
Like I talk to Sam with many exclamation marks because she does that and I like it.
But if I talked with many exclamation marks as I did with Sam then I would be mistaken as rude or impolite, I'm sure hahaha.

See,
That's why we have many personalities.
Because everyone wants to be treated differently.
Because life force us to treat people differently, in some ways.