FOREVER AND ALWAYS

You might not know this that that song always reminds me of you.
Those two words remind me of you.
Because I believe, we will be forever and always.
Even we're together or not.
Because you're so important to me.
Even I never told you.
But you know.
You most likely know.
We are not simple.
Our lives are not simple.
The thing we have is never simple.
I slap myself everytime I ask for someone's opinion about how I should do with you.
Because if I don't know the answer, that means they won't either.
And it hurts me so much. And it makes me cry.
Literally cry.
Our choices aren't as simple as:
Stay or leave.
Yes or no.
Love or like.
Talk or shut up.
Lover or else.
We are both.
Do you hear that? We are both.
I have many things to tell you.
I have many things to do with you.
Leaving you, is one of them.
But would I? Could I?
A favourite movie of mine said this but I'm going to change it slightly a bit for you.
If someday I leave you, it's not because I don't love you.
It's because I do.
And it's not because I miss you.
Because I miss you already.
Maybe our story are going to end soon.
Our time is running out.
We are not as young as we were five years ago.
We don't have another five years to waste.
I want to move on with my life. And you should too.
Maybe in several years we'll see each other again in different place.
Maybe we won't be able to talk for hours until late like we did last time.
Maybe we'll be busy with our own lives.
Or maybe,
Maybe we won't meet again.
Just keep my words:
You are amazing. You are important. You are kind and wonderful.
I want you to have the best possible life because you deserve it.
I enjoyed every single hour I spent with you.
And I enjoyed the sweet torture you gave me.
You made me feel lots of things.
Complicated things that I've never felt about before.
No one could give me the feeling before. Because you are special.
And you will always be.
I didn't lie when I told you that you're my favourite.
You are.
Forever and always.