THOUGHT

I wrote this a few days ago while I was at work and had so many painful thoughts in mind, but my heart kept telling me that "Everything happens for a very good reason."

Now, is 10:21 am.
Not a midday yet, but I have so many questions in my head.

People said, the love of a mother would never abandoned you in life.
So, why did my mother forget 20 of my birthdays and never called me to ask if I'm still alive?
Does she really not care or she just trust me I would survive and be alive even she hasn't heard anything from me for 10 months straight?

People said, what you have is what you deserve.
Does that mean I don't deserve my dad?
The only person I want to live forever with, the only one I loved so much with all of my heart, the one and only regret in my life.
Or God just love him so much He wanted him to live much better on His side? And by that, my dad can be with me wherever I go, grow up together with me in my heart?

People said, it's a good thing to make people around you happy.
But what if that the only person that care about my happiness is myself? And I feel like obligate of it. So I stop caring about those who doesn't care about me.
Contradiction, what if the life is not about yourself, never about yourself? What if the happiness will be found in the process of making people happy?

People said, life without a problem is not a life at all.
But how does one solve so many problems at once with no place to run into.
God, is the answer.
God never gives any problem that you can't handle. So when you have a problem, just believe that God knows you can handle it. Why do you need to doubt yourself when God trust you?

People said, family is what all you have when everything in the world turn you down.
What if the family who turn you down? What do I have left? Where do I need to run to?
I don't know about this one.