Disaat orang lain membahasakan dirinya dipanggil aunty oleh keponakan atau anak dari sebayanya, saya masih ingin dipanggil tante, atau bulik.

Disaat orang-orang meminta anaknya memanggilnya Bunda atau Mami, saya ingin dipanggil Ibu.

Saya juga masih ingin membahasakan anak-anak saya nanti, insya Allah, kapanpun itu, dengan panggilan Mas atau Mbak.

Sederhana dan simpel sebenernya, dan bukan masalah besar.
Cuma bagi saya kedengerannya beda aja. Beda rasanya.

When I was asked, what or who I want to be or do, I'm always confused.
I most likely will say, "I don't know."
But it's more because I have too much in mind about what or who I want to be or do.

I want to be a Vet.
Because I love animals.
I want to take care of them. I want to heal them.
I want to help the people who love them and make them feel better.

I want to be a Librarian.
Because I love books.
I love indexing, tidying and arranging the shelves to make it looks good.
I imagine it'd be such a delightful feeling to see people come to read.
Those people who found books that mean something to them.
Those people who love books, probably more than I do.
Even those who don't, but probably some of them will find the way to love it eventually.

I want to be an Astronout.
Because I love stars. I love space.
I want to study about it.
I want to know about what's going on out there that not many people know that happens.

I want to be a Historian.
Because I damn love history.
I want to remember what most people don't.
I want to be able to tell story about the past to my children, to my grandchildren, or simply to those who want to know.

I want to be a Psychologist.
I want to understand people. I want to notice those who are unnoticed.
I want to encourage people. I want to help people feel better.

There are many who or what I want to be.
I wish I had more than one life to live.

You might not know this that that song always reminds me of you.
Those two words remind me of you.
Because I believe, we will be forever and always.
Even we're together or not.
Because you're so important to me.
Even I never told you.
But you know.
You most likely know.
We are not simple.
Our lives are not simple.
The thing we have is never simple.
I slap myself everytime I ask for someone's opinion about how I should do with you.
Because if I don't know the answer, that means they won't either.
And it hurts me so much. And it makes me cry.
Literally cry.
Our choices aren't as simple as:
Stay or leave.
Yes or no.
Love or like.
Talk or shut up.
Lover or else.
We are both.
Do you hear that? We are both.
I have many things to tell you.
I have many things to do with you.
Leaving you, is one of them.
But would I? Could I?
A favourite movie of mine said this but I'm going to change it slightly a bit for you.
If someday I leave you, it's not because I don't love you.
It's because I do.
And it's not because I miss you.
Because I miss you already.
Maybe our story are going to end soon.
Our time is running out.
We are not as young as we were five years ago.
We don't have another five years to waste.
I want to move on with my life. And you should too.
Maybe in several years we'll see each other again in different place.
Maybe we won't be able to talk for hours until late like we did last time.
Maybe we'll be busy with our own lives.
Or maybe,
Maybe we won't meet again.
Just keep my words:
You are amazing. You are important. You are kind and wonderful.
I want you to have the best possible life because you deserve it.
I enjoyed every single hour I spent with you.
And I enjoyed the sweet torture you gave me.
You made me feel lots of things.
Complicated things that I've never felt about before.
No one could give me the feeling before. Because you are special.
And you will always be.
I didn't lie when I told you that you're my favourite.
You are.
Forever and always.

I can't promise you that I'll still love you when I wake up in 7 days.
I can't even promise you that I'll be here tomorrow morning.
I have no power on tomorrow and I won't give you any bull shit by lying about the future.
But if you don't know it yet, or just simply blinded with whatever thing in your eyes, I still love you as much as the first time I told you, 5 years ago. Or even more than I did.
And if it's not enough for you, I don't know what is.

I'm not perfect, so you don't have to be perfect.
I don't want you to be perfect.
We don't have to be perfect.
Even don't need to be perfect for each other.
Our life doesn't have to be perfect.
Our choices can't be perfect.
What we have won't be perfect.
We can't be perfect.

Perfection means nothing's left to be fixed.
Perfection means nothing's left to learn.
I want the flaws. I need the mistakes.
I want to learn. I need to grow.
We can caught in fight. Then we can forgive.
We can be sad and cry. Then we can be full of laughter.

Who said you need to perfect?
I don't need you perfect.