I always think that I'm blessed more than I deserved.
Especially lately.
I'm extremely grateful with my life - my every day.

How could I not be?

My direct boss is one of the kindest person I've known in my entire life.
He's very patient with me.
Teaching, understanding, guiding, and supporting me.
He's that kind of person who believes that we must grow better every day and aspire to be someone bigger, always.
Just the kind of person I need to have around me.
In his age and with his experience, he doesn't stop learning.
Heck, he's now even taking an online course in his already busy life.
By looking at him, it makes me ashamed if I feel tired or lazy or complain.
We have the same 24 hours.
Yet he manages to exercise, does tons of work, assignments, reads some work-related stuffs, reads more books, watches tv, socializes, and goes to pray.
I'm not even close to that.

And then the directors in the company.
Whom I manage to tease and joke with almost every day.
Keep up with my silliness, not-funny jokes, tantrums, mistakes, but always be supportive and make  me laugh, every time.
They keep me sane.
They make the supposed-to-be-stressful time not stressful.

My colleagues.
The smart-asses people who always make me try to be a better person.
You are everything. Every single of you.
I always wish to be surrounded by people who are better than me.
And you are the answers to that wish.

Well, it's been only short seven months.
I maybe will change my mind later.
But who cares.
I enjoy it now.
I'm happy.
I'm grateful.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world.

Dear Tuhan,

Terima kasih untuk 25 tahun terakhir, dan terlebih lagi, untuk kesempatan menjalani tahun ke-26 ini.
Tidak ada di pikiran saya sebelumnya bahwa saya akan mencapai umur 26 tahun, tanpa mengurangi rasa syukur saya kepada-Mu.
Tapi hari ini, saya genap berusia 26 tahun.
Terima kasih, ya Tuhan.

Tujuan manusia hidup di dunia adalah untuk beribadah kepada Allah. Tapi juga tidak berarti hanya untuk beribadah dan kemudian mengesampingkan hal yang lain.
Saya pernah baca, "Bekerja adalah cara mengisi waktu sambil menunggu waktu Shalat datang"
What a beautiful quote, am I right?
A nice reminder too. Karena memang seharusnya begitulah.

Setiap ada kesempatan didoakan, saya selalu meminta untuk didoakan agar selalu dan lebih dekat kepada Tuhan.
I'm feeling scared being away from You.
Karena saya menyadari dari umur saya 8 tahun, cuma Tuhan yang ada di samping saya, selalu menjaga, dan memberi semua hal yg saya butuhkan - dan inginkan.

Dan di umur 26 ini, saya memiliki lebih dari yg saya berhak dapatkan.
A dream job, good family, good friends, happy life, no drama...
I pray for me not to take it for granted, to always be humble, kind, patient, and nice.

I'm not sad being old.
I'm sad that another year has passed - and afraid that I won't be able to remember how it was being 25.
I hope that I can live my life, day by day, well. So I will remember it.
If I make mistake, let me be wise about it and learn from it.
If I'm sad, let me cry for a bit then make me stronger afterwards.
If I fall, help me to get up then prepare to walk again
If I'm lonely, nudge my heart and remind me that I'm never alone

26 is a bigger age.
I should be stronger, wiser, kinder, and smarter.
But most of all, I should be closer.
To You.

1. What does your ideal day look like?
Sleep well. Wake up early. Sunny with some clouds. And know what's in the plate for the day.

2. What did you want to be when you were younger?
An animal vet. I love animals :)

3. Who are you most inspired by? Why?
Andrea Sachs of The Devil Wears Prada. When I watched the movie, that was the first time I found out the job that I wanted. And now I'm doing it... my dream job!

4. Who would you love to meet? What would you ask?
It's probably a boring answer. My Dad. I just want to know how he is and whether I've made him happy with the life I'm currently in.

5. What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?
Oversleep. Getting up early is really hard for me, even though I know that it's good for us and so many great things happen when the world is still half asleep.

6. Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person?
He's hard working. And genuinely kind.

7. How do you like to relax?
Long walking. Or sleeping.

8. When was the last time you did something you were afraid of? 
I worry about anything but afraid very little.

9. What are you most proud of?
My logic. My empathy. My sense to understand another people.

10. What are you most afraid of?
Not knowing. Then I fear of the future.

11. If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing?
Spending more time with my Mom

12. Who would you like to connect (or reconnect with)? Why?
Honestly, I'm very curious about Taylor Swift's personality. I think we can get along very well and be good friends.

13. What qualities do you admire in others?
Patience. I lack of it but really trying hard.

14. What practical skills do you wish you had?
Good cooking skill!

15. Imagine you're in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell?
I want to look back seeing that I was happy spending all my years and have no regrets. Even though bad times were there, but it made me stronger instead. That I had good friends and people around me. That I had good jobs and loved them. That those years were worth.

16. What is your favorite book/movie/song? Why?
I really like Flying Without Wing by Westlife. The lyrics is so beautiful and shows that love can be found everywhere and everyone has it their own way.

17. If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?
World peace.

18. What do you love to do for, or give to others (not an object - something from you personally)?
I'd like to listen to their stories or problem or vision. We can share thoughts. I'll sit or walk for hours with them for that session.

19. What excites you?
A fully booked day!

20. What do you wish you did more of?
Traveling. Not in terms visiting touristy place. But more of experiencing new things. Go to remote area. Having mind-blowing conversation with local people. Absorbing nature. Hiking. Those kinds of traveling.

21. Pretend money is no object. What would you do?
Educating my self. By reading books, by attending courses, by signing up for schools, by traveling, by discussing with other people.

22. What area of your life, right now, makes you feel the best? Which area makes you feel the worst? Why?
Best is my work life. I have my dream job. Working in a good company. My boss is really kind. My colleagues are nice.
Worst is the social life outside work. I'm bad at keeping in touch with people I no longer see in daily basis.

23. Let's jump forward a year. What would you like to have achieved in the past year?
In one year, I want to have a studying in uni to look forward to. Other than that, I just want to do really, really well in my job and grow there.

24. What piece of advice would you give to five year old you? Sixteen year old you? Twenty-one year old you? Right now? 
To five year old me: You're going to face the hardest year ever in your life but you'll do just fine. You are stronger than you thought you were. You will survive and do well.
To sixteen year old me: High school might not be the best years in your life and that's OKAY. You'll achieve more than just having a group of friends and they won't matter as much once you graduate.
To twenty-one year old me: Keep learning. Always be helpful. Be patient. Observe. Pay attention to anything. Be happy. Your life is still long and will get better.

25. How do you want to be remembered in life?
As a dependable and trustworthy person.

I once was that kind of person who lives for the weekend. Loathe Mondays. And only be thankful when it's Friday.

Then I thought, how unlucky I am if I spend my whole productive life being that kind of person.

I don't want it.

I want to be a person who lives everyday. Who doesn't hate Monday. Who enjoys the working days, even maybe can't be as much as the weekends. Who doesn't wait until Friday to have fun.

Weekend has only two days a week while weekdays has five days a week. Roughly, we will only live for 30% of our lives if we only live for the weekend.

How sad is that life?

To always enjoy life is not easy.
Even imagining it is not easy.
But we can do it if we focus on the positive things, doesn't matter how small it is.

When you woke up late then stuck in a heavy traffic, you almost can't see a positive thing. But if you can't do anything about it, then don't stress it.

Okay, I know some people are like to stress over things. Over small things. Over things they don't have a power on.

Me too.

But now I'm trying to stress only when I can do something about it.
I stress when I'm late and I feel like I don't walk fast enough. Then I run.
I stress when I have many things to do. But try to cut it off when it's finished.
Even though I didn't do well enough. Or feel like I didn't do well.
But once it's finished, my stress won't help anything.
I have realized that stressing over something that happened in the past won't change the result. Even though sometimes, not stressing about things feel wrong. And if the result is not well, it's because we don't stress enough about it.

Believe me, I know that feeling.

It needs process.
But I believe we can get there eventually.

Not stressing about things.
Always enjoy our days.
Trying to see the positive on everything.

But, like someone once said:
One day or day one, you decide

Do you remember
That third moon
When I said that
I would support you?
I mean it

Semenjak setahun terakhir suka banget sama mas Aga, banyak orang yang nanya, "Kok sukanya sama musik begini sih? Ga yang easy listening aja?" atau "Kok bisa suka sama Aga, dia kan musiknya berat?"

Seringnya gue jawab, "Nggak tau deh, suka aja. Bagus kok musiknya"

Kadang-kadang gue jawab, "Iya abis dia kalo aransemen lagu daerah bagus banget. Kebetulan juga gue suka sama lagu-lagu daerah sih"

Tapi gue ga pernah jawab alasan sebenernya: Karena ga tau kenapa, musik dan aransemen mas Aga touch my heart - in a way nothing has ever done before.

Gombal ya? Terkesan gitu emang, makanya ga pernah jawab begitu. Nanti yg nanya kabur. Mas Aganya sendiri geli kali dengernya hahaha.

Tapi bener.

Waktu beberapa kali di awal gue nonton dia secara ga sengaja bahkan permainan piano dia yang mengundang gue untuk menyimak. Waktu gue lagi jalan di mall terus denger ada yg lagi jamming, suka, langsung dicari di mana dan siapa yang main. Waktu lagi nonton F1 sambil nunggu Barasuara manggung, tiba-tiba denger piano parts yang menarik dari atas panggung, langsung berhenti nonton F1 dan langsung nyimak Tuslah, yang waktu itu main sebelum Barasuara. Waktu denger radio sambil makan, tiba-tiba di radio ada yang main piano live (tanpa ada narasi, tau-tau main). Gue langsung berhenti makan dan nyimak, padahal gue belum tau kalo itu dia yang main, Waktu lagi dengerin album Amelia Ong, pas intro piano muncul, gue juga langsung nyimak dan lalu bisa nebak dengan mudah kalo itu mas Aga yang ngisi pianonya.

Permainan piano dia stole both my heart and attentions.

Ada banyak musisi yang lebih lama dan lebih gue suka dibanding dia. Tapi ga ada yang se-charming musiknya mas Aga.

Sebelum tau mas Aga juga gue biasa aja sama permainan piano. I was more a guitar person. Gue lebih suka strings instruments tadinya, karena piano, menurut gue, terlalu serius, formal, dan ga bisa diajak seneng-seneng haha.

Setiap mas Aga main piano, gue ngerasa seperti dialog tiga arah: Dia, piano, dan gue.
Di mata gue, piano bukan perantara dia untuk berdialog ke gue. Tapi justru seperti gue yang lagi mendengarkan dan menyimak dia berdialog dengan pianonya.
Kadang gue senyum-senyum sendiri, kadang gue gemes, kadang gue kasian karena pianonya lagi kayak dimarahin (soalnya mas Aga kalo pas awal-awal main itu galak!), kadang ngerasa lucu, dan kadang suka intense seperti mereka mulai membicarakan hal-hal serius sehingga gue pun jadi ikutan serius nyimaknya.

Ketika gue cuma dengerin lewat CD atau iPod pun gue tetep merasa mas Aga main di depan gue. Dengan jari-jarinya di atas tuts piano. Dengan dialog dia dan pianonya.

Gue cuma sekedar pendengar musik.
Ga ngerti mana musik bagus atau musik ga bagus.
Cuma tau mana musik yang gue suka dan ga suka.
Jadi gue gatau dan ga bisa jelasin apa yang bikin musik mas Aga so magical and touch my heart.
Tapi kurang lebih, itulah penjelasan kenapa gue suka mas Aga, kenapa gue selalu berusaha untuk hadir di setiap gigsnya mas Aga. Kenapa gue dengerin musik dia.

With every communication with him, I just want to keep letting him know that I adore and support him and will always want to listen more of his music. Hopefully he gets the message and keep playing his magic fingers until forever.

In this big mad world, letting someone you care about that you care about them is important. 
So please do, when you have a chance.