Life is unfair. 

I've realized it since I was 8 when I lost my dear father. 

For a decade after I'm trying hard to understand why God makes such an unfair world. 

Then it struck me that it doesn't matter that life is unfair. 

Because there is an afterlife. 

In afterlife, we'll be judged fairly. 

No matter which family you were born to. 

Whether you have billions or none in your bank account.  

Whether you were a girl or a boy. 

It gave me a peace of mind and I was able to carry forward since then. 

Life is unfair, really. 

But God is not. 

He is the kindest. 

He will not let you suffer for nothing. 

He will not let people hurt other people left unnoticed. 

One day, the time will come. 

And justice will be served.

My word for this year is HUMILITY.

The quality of not thinking that you are better than other people; the quality of being humble.

For my whole life I was taught on how to be independent, do many things myself first, before I ask for others' help.
Eventually, I can do most things alone.
And I'm hell proud of it.

But new year, new challenge.

I challenge my self to step down my pride.

Be humble.

To accept new lessons.
When I think I know something, I have to read more, meet more people, go out there until I find out that's no, I don't know about it that well.
To understand more.
No body has the same life, hence we will find different people see things quite differently. It's okay.
To ask for forgiveness.
I have a high pride on not doing any mistakes, but even though we think we didn't, we did anyway. So for whatever reasons, do ask for forgiveness.
To forgive.
People make mistakes. Make them know. Talk about it. Forgive each other. Move on.
To accept love.
Love is a scary thing alright, but from the right person, it wouldn't be. It shouldn't be.
To make new connection.
Say hello first. Smile to strangers. Have fun without thinking too much about where this friendship would go.
To grow.

Eventually.

Three days ago
The last day we met
I don't know for how long

You said

"You will be fine," as you pointed at me
I shook my head
Try really hard to not cry

They took our photos
After one pose, you turned your head to me
"I will miss you," you told me
I smiled, and laughed dryly
"You know I will miss you more, right?"
And you laughed too

Before I left
We hugged for the first,
And last time
You touched my face
"Don't worry, you will be fine,"

Is that a promise?

Because I don't know if I will be.

If I can be.

Yesterday, before your flight took off
You texted me
"I'm really going to miss you.
Be good and see you soon I hope"

I hope so too.